How I wish more women would say that … the world would be a better place. For one thing, women will stop being punching bags for their insecure husbands. Single moms like me will be respected because we will no longer need a man’s approval to breathe and live. Motherhood will be celebrated!I don’t need a man to be complete because I already am complete. I have a steady, good paying work job that many of my friends are envious of. I have a little girl who loves me unconditionally and who will be there with me until the day I die. I have a great family, no matter how dysfunctional we may seem. My friends will forever stick with me through thick and thin. I have a home, I pay my bills on time and I don’t owe anybody money. I’m healthy and I still have about 6 or 7 cat lives to go. I don’t have to stress that I’m happy with how my life is right now.

I have the sperm donor to thank for. If he never left me, I would never have realized what I’ve been missing. I would never have found out what I’m capable of. Thank you for making me accomplish everything without you. Like what my friends said, the best way to get even is to show you that I’m better off without you. And they were right, because without you I am now complete.

moving on

Sometimes I surprise myself. I think I have always bitten more than I could chew. But I chewed it anyway, even if I almost choked to death in the process.

This is one good time as any to sit back and check on myself. Can I really handle all these things I take on and now have? Am I happy, even if these things keep me on my toes all the time?
Ever since, I’ve always taken more than my plate can handle. If you ask my mother, she would say I was running even before I could learn to walk. In fact, she would still say that I still do not walk and that I am still running.

That doesn’t mean I run away from things. Because I don’t. Anything that comes at me, I most often face it head on. I may never have fought like I should have when I had to, but I remained standing even after all is gone and have walked away. When I fell down, I got up. Especially in the stuff that really matters in my life.

To answer my questions above: I am just too happy being on my toes always. Too happy to survive things happening at once. I am at a point now that I’m sure I can take and handle anything. There’s just never a dull moment in the last 30 years. I think! Never easy. But never dull too. Exciting in many ways.

There’s gonna be more juggling (multitasking!!), more standing on my toes while “running”…but I’m gonna be laughing out loud all the time. I’m going to remain standing as long as life permits, even after all have gone or dropped or walked away.

‘Tangina Hindi na ako maitutumba! Bring it on!

I’ve cried. I still cry. I laughed. BUT the thing is: I am still laughing and will always be!

Am I Ready?


That’s the question I’ve been asking myself for quite some time now. Am I ready to share my life with someone? Am I ready to trust again? Am I ready to begin a new life? Am I ready to have another baby? Am I ready for new responsibilities? Am I ready for happiness?

It’s true what they said about getting married; either you marry young or you marry old. Not that I’m tying the knot real soon, but commitment scares the hell out of me. Not because I think I will get hurt again, but that I will have to give up and sacrifice a huge chunk of my freedom. I’m so used to being independent and fending for myself and Thea; that I’m not quite sure how I will react to someone else taking care of us. Will I see view it as an intrusion in our lives or as a loving gesture? For the months, I’ve had the run of my life. Independence is intoxicating and addicting. There’s really nothing wrong with it, it’s just that I’m scared of giving up a lot of things that I enjoy doing just so I can make someone else happy and content. Selfishness? I think I deserve to put myself on top of my priority list since my happiness depends primarily on me.

Or are these petty excuses that I’m making up just so I don’t have to be part of a relationship? Are these just manifestations of my fear of being hurt again?