Time.

Time seems to be just standing still the past few days. I feel like I'm in a waiting game. Waiting for things to change, waiting for I don't know what for. Waiting for God to do something. I've done and said and prayed everything I can think of in 2008. I'm exhausted in every way a person can be. I've changed so much. But I still have that ache. I need so badly for God to do something. For things to be different inside me still. I need a person to show up, a friend to call, someone to reach out to me and call me up to get together. I need my phone to ring or a car to pull up at my house. IneedJesusinpersontoshowup. Time just seems to be NOT MOVING ON. I feel like everything around me is standing still. I've done everything I can think of, asked God for help in every way I can imagine. I'm just .... waiting. Its like the whole world is moving on, but here I stand alone.

New Year’s Realizations and Resolutions

2008 was a full and challenging year for me as a mother and parent. There were a lot of changes, events and decisions that had to be made that made life too real where the effects hit too close for comfort. I know that I made mistakes here and there but still feel that I managed to recover a wiser woman. So I welcome this new year with a clear mind and an open heart.
I realized that no daily planner, or blackberry or even alarm clock can prepare you for anything that suddenly decides to disrupt your life. This is especially true if you fill up your calendar to the brink and leave no room for contingency.
Following that thought, is my realization that practicing juggling your mommy tasks for a year will never result in increasing the length of time between 9 am and 12 noon. But then I realized that despite the difficulties, I will still never choose to leave them behind. And you can only hope that you learn to extend your patience a little bit more each time.
It is important to note that I would not have made it through the year alive if not for the help of my family. They have been there everyday with me for the past few years and a lot of my sanity has been kept intact because they ran with me, cleaned and cooked with me, kissed wounded knees with me, made sure no one disturbed me while I’m having my 5-minute bath (a.k.a personal time) and became more valuable to me as reminders more so than anything I have in my laptop.

I have never been happier than whenever I witness THEA doing something new or saying something witty that would totally surprise me.

I think that the year was successful in proving to me that I spread myself too thin. There were too many missed deadlines, missed dinners and missed activities. So this year, my resolutions will focus only on my priorities. And my priorities start with my family.

How will you kick off your new year?